Episode One: Time Has Come Today
September 21, 2006
Opening:
In the O.R., time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures, and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes, 15 hours. Inside the O.R., the best surgeons make time fly…
Outside the O.R., however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down. Hovering. Until it freezes… leaving us stuck in a moment. Unable to move in one direction or the other.
Closing:
Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time… Time to stand up… Time to grow up…
Time to let go…
Episode Two: I Am a Tree
September 28, 2006
Opening:
At any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don’t have control over most of them. When we get a chill, goosebumps, when we get excited, adrenaline. The body naturally follows its impulses. Which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours.
Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control… That we later wish we had.
Closing:
The body is a slave to its impulses. But the thing that makes us human… is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed. We can cool off, and clean up the messes we’ve made. We can try to let go of what was.
And then again…
Episode Three: Sometimes a Fantasy
October 5, 2006
Opening:
Surgeons usually fantasize about wild, and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant, we slice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in…
Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake, banished to the back of our minds, but sometimes, we’re sure if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.
Closing:
The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleasure is better… That pain is bad, and no pain is better…
But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there’s only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe, some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.
Episode Four: What I Am
October 12, 2006
Opening:
At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kinds of surgeons they’re going to become. If you ask them, they’ll tell you, they’re going to be general surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, neurosurgeons…
Distinctions that do more than define their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no idea who they are, they’re afraid to find out.
Closing:
(Phone message Denny left the night he died for his parents, is this week’s closing monologue.)
Dad, mom, it’s me. I’m calling from Seattle Grace hospital, where the beautiful and talented and incredibly stubborn Dr. Isobel Stevens, she’s just given me a brand new heart. And promised to marry me. I know we’ve had our differences, and I’m sorry we’ve been out of touch. Believe it or not, I was trying to make everything better. I know you’re angry. I hope you’ll forgive me.
Turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing… sometimes you have to make a big mistake, to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful… but they’re the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. I know what I want. I’ve got the love of my life, a new heart, and I want you guys to get on the next plane out here and meet my girl.
Everything’s gonna be different now. I promise. From here on out, nothing’s ever going to be the same. I love you. Bye.
Episode Five: Oh, the Guilt
October 19, 2006
Opening:
First do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath. But, harm happens… and then guilt happens. And there’s no oath for how to deal with that.
Guilt never goes anywhere on its own. It brings its friends: Doubt and Insecurity.
Closing:
First, do no harm. Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world, but the fact is… most of us do harm all the time. Sometimes, even when we’re trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt, is up to you.
We’re left with a choice… Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or… learn from the guilt, and do your best… to move on.
Episode Six: Let the Angels Commit
November 2, 2006
Opening:
To make it, really make it… as a surgeon, it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel and make a cut that may, or may not, do more damage than good.
It’s all about being committed. Because if we’re not, we have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.
Closing:
There are time when even the best of us, have trouble with commitment. And, we may be surprised by the commitments we’re willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we’re willing to make.
True commitment takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes… we have to learn the hard way. To choose our commitments very carefully.
Episode Seven: Where the Boys Are
November 9, 2006
Opening:
As surgeons, we’re trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem’s easily detected. Most of the time, you need to go step-by-step. First, probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble. A mole, or a lesion or an unwelcome lump.
Most of the time, we can’t tell what’s wrong with somebody by just looking at the. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole other story.
Closing:
Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than we can imagine. You can’t see them with the naked eye. And then, there are the wounds that take us by surprise.
The trick with any kind of wound or disease, is to dig down and find the real source of the injury. And once you’ve found it… try like hell to heal that sucker.
Episode Eight: Staring at the Sun
November 16, 2006
Opening:
Many people don’t know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There’s a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn’t be ignored. Sometimes, our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
Closing:
When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren’t compensating. Maybe they’re protecting us…
Episode Nine: From a Whisper to a Scream
November 23, 2006
Opening:
(Cristina) As doctors, we know everybody’s secrets. Their medical histories, sexual histories, confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a 10-blade. And every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets. We have to.
But not all secrets can be kept…
Closing:
(Cristina) In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other… when we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes, to rebuild the trust that was lost.
And then, there are some wounds, some betrayals, that are so deep, so profound,… that there’s no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens… there’s nothing left to do… but wait.
Episode Ten: Don’t Stand So Close to Me
November 30, 2006
Closing:
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want, is to be close to somebody. SO this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other… it’s usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to.
And once we’ve chosen those people… we tend to stick close by… no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But, sometimes that invasion of personal space… it can be exactly what you need.
Episode 11: Six Days: Part I
January 11, 2007
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Episode 12: Six Days: Part II
January 18, 2007
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